If I have said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times…, pets and super heros just don’t mix. I can’t tell you how many times capturing a run-of-the-mill villain was thwarted by a meowling Crusader Cat, or a well timed “I’ve got you now, evil doer!” has been undermined by a careless step in something Wonder Dog left behind. You just can’t get the respect required when you are having mascot issues.
So I was understandably perturbed when AmazeMan brought home a parakeet named George. Now I like parakeets just as much as the next guy, but cute little parrots just aren’t kosher.
Me: So…
AmazeMan: Yeah!
Me: It’s a bird.
AmazeMan: It’s a budgie!
Me: Don’t call it that. Seriously.
AmazeMan: What? He’s great!
Me: You realize, of course, that your “he” is a “she”.
AmazeMan: No he isn’t, he’s…, how the hell do you know it’s a she? There ain’t no bird boobies.
Me: It’s the color above their beak. If it’s colorful, it’s a he. It ain’t, so you got yourself a she-budgie.
Named George.
AmazeMan: But the guy at the store…
Me: What were you thinking? How on earth can this thing fight crime?
AmazeMan: It’s not a “thing”. He’s…, she’s a…
Me: Whatever. What can “George” do?
AmazeMan: He…, she can repeat anything you say right back to you.
Me:
AmazeMan: Come on, that’s terribly useful.
Me:
AmazeMan: Look, say you were just out of earshot of hearing Nefaro’s next diabolical scheme. You send George in, he…, she flies over – undetected – and listens to the conversation. Then he…, she flies back – undetected yet again – and repeats everything he heard.
Me: Actually, that’s not half bad…
AmazeMan: It’s awesome!
Me: But still, he’s…, she’s a parakeet.
AmazeMan: Budgie.
Me: Whatever. If you get caught traipsing around with that bird you’ll never hear the end of it. It’s just not Cricket.
AmazeMan: But it repeats…
Me: I know.
AmazeMan: And it barely eats anything at all…
Me: I hear ya man.
AmazeMan: This sucks.
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