So, like many of you I suspect, I get the guilt trip from my mother – on a regular basis – on when I am going to start a family. The last time went something like this:
Mom: So, when are you going to find a nice super girl and settle down?
Me: < ...>
Mom: I was just talking to Shirly, you know, Captain Famous’ mother, and he’s getting married next month.
Me: I know, you sent me the announcement last week.
Mom: You know he’s got a sister about your age. Darling girl. You should call her.
Me: She’s called the “Cyclops” for a reason.
Mom: Still, she’s not going to wait around forever. What about that girl you work with, what’s her name?
Me: Gamma Girl?
Mom: No, the nice girl with the big hips.
Me: I’m not having this conversation with you.
Mom: Such a fuss you’re making. If you spent as much time taking care of your social life as you do saving the world I might have some grandkids by now.
Me: You have several grand kids. Both Paul and Chris have kids.
Mom: I know, but you were always my favorite. Such a nice boy. Always respectful with the other mothers, and such hair. You could make silk out of that hair.
Me: Can we just get off this subject?
Mom: Fine, what do I care if you die a lonely and childless old man?
Me: Look, it’s not easy meeting women in my line of work. And what about Carrie? You couldn’t stand her.
Mom: You were too good for her. Besides, what kind of super power is ‘dressing nice’?
Me: She was a fashion designer!
Mom: And I should be excited about that? You should be meeting someone of your own kind. Someone who will give you nice super children.
Me: Dad married you, and you don’t have and super…
Mom: Don’t speak about your father that way! He always wants what’s best for you.
Me: He liked Carrie.
Mom: Your father is an idiot.
Me: Ahh, there goes the Super Signal, Mom. I gotta go.
Mom: Fine, but don’t be a stranger. I shouldn’t have to try to blow up the world just to have my son stop by for a visit.
Me: Good talking to you too!
